This post on tips for dating with anxiety was kindly written by Brooke from Blue to Bliss. For more details on her social media channels please check below!
Getting back into the dating world can be a really fun experience for some people. But for others, even the thought of dating again can shoot their anxiety level through the roof.
Whether it’s nervousness about running out of things to say, feeling like all of the good ones are already taken, or thinking you should just lose a few more pounds before putting yourself out there. There is no end to the list of things that trigger dating anxiety in many of us.
Even timing can play a huge part in whether or not you feel ready to start dating again.
But what I think we can all agree on is that the ultimate goal in life is to build a tribe of people around us that love and support us. And if one of those people happens to be a romantic interest too, even better.
So I put together a list of 8 ways to deal with your dating anxiety once and for all and to open yourself up to the possibility of building a healthy, new relationship.
1 .Acknowledge Your Anxiety
The first step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to acknowledge the feelings that you are having. It’s okay to feel nervous, restless, or even dread before a date. What matters is that you allow yourself to feel these emotions temporarily and then use coping strategies that help you return to a feeling of peace. There is no rush to getting back into dating. Take your time and accept a date only when you feel ready.
For more on experiences of anxiety read here
2. You Have a Lot to Offer
The second step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to recognize that you have a lot to offer to another person. It can be easy to get caught up in having negative thoughts that you’re not good enough for someone else or that he or she may not like you in return. But remember, you are a unique individual with attractive qualities, intelligence, and skills and abilities. There are plenty of people out there who would be happy to be in a relationship with you. Be confident and take your time to find someone who realizes just how great you are.
3. Be Open to Meeting Different Types of People
The third step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to be open to meeting different types of people. You may experience nervousness about dating people outside of your normal type, whether it be because you might not have things in common or because you think other people may judge you based on his or her appearance. Regardless of what you may initially think, a person outside of your normal type may end up being exactly the right match for you. So, consider accepting a date with someone outside of the typical age range, ethnic, or religious background of people you normally date. Don’t let a photo or a quick blurb online get in the way of getting to know someone who may be more compatible with you than you think.
4. Accept Online Dating as Legit
The fourth step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to accept online dating as a legit way to meet someone. Online dating still has a stigma for some people, but it’s becoming more popular and more successful at making matches every day. People of all ages and backgrounds are using online dating to find partners nowadays. And as a bonus, meeting someone through a dating app allows you to talk to him or her before you decide whether or not it’s even worth it to meet up in person.
5. Allow Yourself to Get Excited
The fifth step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to allow yourself to get excited about dating. Be optimistic, dress up, and look forward to meeting someone new. Even if it doesn’t turn out to be a long-term relationship, you still get to have a conversation with another adult, learn from each others’ experiences, and discover what it is that you would like in a partner and what you just can’t put up with.
6. Refrain From Overanalyzing Everything
The sixth step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to refrain from overanalyzing everything. Constantly worrying about what your date is thinking, what you look like, or focusing on something you should or should not have said, will only amplify your anxiety level. Instead, focus on the positives from the date, relax, and have fun. If the relationship is meant to work out, it will. Analyzing every second of the date and trying to find flaws in it or where it might have gone wrong will only cause stress and take all of the fun out of dating.
For more on reframing anxiety read here
7. Practice Makes Perfect
The seventh step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to remember that practice makes perfect. Just like mock job interviews, you can have mock dates with your friends to help you feel more confident before a real first date. Plus, think of every date you go on as a practice run for your next date. The more dates you go on, the less awkward they will be and the less nervous you will feel.
8. Learn From Bad Dates and Move On
The last step in dealing with anxiety related to dating is to learn from bad dates and to move on. We all experience bad dates in our lifetimes. The conversation can be brutally boring, the other person may be an outright jerk, or he or she may show up looking very different from the profile photo you were shown. Whatever happens, don’t let bad dates increase your anxiety level and ruin future dates for you. Remember, bad dates make hilarious stories to tell your friends about later. Have a good laugh about them, and then move on.
Just remember, like anything else in life, dating is part of the journey.
You probably won’t meet the love of your life on the very first date you ever go on. You may even have to date a few cringy people to discover what it is that you really want in a partner.
But dating doesn’t have to cause you so much anxiety that you decide to never leave the house again. You can deal with dating anxiety effectively and maybe just find someone who truly gets you along the way.
What are your top tips for dealing with relationship or dating anxiety? Let us know below!
This post was written by Brooke, the blogger behind bluetobliss.com. She is passionate about helping others live their best lives by choosing happiness, building healthy relationships, and eliminating stress, obligations, and financial worries. She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Mix.
I love the layout of this post. It looks great. As always, it was nice working with you to get this published.
Thanks Brooke! I love working with you too! Always a pleasure!
Loved this post. I’ve tried online dating before (didn’t go on any actual dates as I was way too anxious to go on any). I think I need to focus on the positives rather than the negatives and try and push through the anxiety of worrying about running out of things to say or them seeming nice when chatting to them online but in real life they’re an arsehole. Will definitely try and take these into consideration when I’m ready to go back into the world of dating again
Very true what you’ve said. Over analysing the date, that probably didn’t work out, can create more anxiety, by feeling that you said something wrong etc. Like you said, it’s all a journey and just look for the positives and don’t let the experience put you off 😊
I’ve been married for two years and with my husband for five, but I wish I had read this when I was still in the “dating” time of my life. It would have been so reassuring and beneficial for me to learn from this. I was constantly questioning, doubting, and feeling a lack of confidence. This post is so encouraging!